This diet sucks

This is the third day and my stomach has not stopped being gassy. This stinks. I am eating fresh fruit. cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, dried cranberries, Sliced almonds (they are allowed), avacadoes, strawberries and bananas. Thats my breakfast and/or lunch.
Dinner is chicken (free range), red and orange peppers, mushrooms, brown rice, brocolli (Not a lot), safflower oil, tyme, sage, rosemary.

I think thats about it. I have had a plain rice cake.
I wonder if its the meds I take at night. The worst part of the day is first thing in the morning. My stomach just goes nuts.

I am so sick of being sick. Can't I just have a good day, or two? Sorry, I know it's the pity me that's talking.

Anyways. Do I just continue this elimination diet? Obviously what I cut out is NOT what was making me sickif I am still sick.
Advice?

A post from Celiac.com

OK. Just when you think everything is getting better. Bam. stomach ache. It's been going on now for 4 weeks. Someone suggested that I do an elimination diet which as you can tell, I'm psyched about.

Anyways. I really don't know what to eat. It is so limited and I'm a tad bit confused. Why should I eliminate everything? Wouldn't it make more sense to eliminate one problem food at a time? Cause when you start to add this stuff back in, you may feel sick. Or should I say you will. And the diet goes as this... if you feel sick. don't eat it again. Well, I don't want to be sick thank you. So, like I said before, would it be more practical if I started with soy and milk then went to nuts and corn? Or something? Probably not

I wont eat lamb. Thats cruel so please don't suggest that. Here is what it says I can eat.
Foods to eat on an elimination diet:

Starches (all cooked), including:
brown rice, sweet potatoes, winter squash,taro (or poi), tapioca rice flour, puffed rice

Most Green, Yellow, or Vegetables (all cooked), most veg exp corn, potato, tomato, peas, beans, legumes, including:
beets, beet greens, chard, summer squash, artichokes, celery, string beans, asparagus, spinach, lettuce,
carrots, asparagus, cauliflower, avocados, garlic, cukes, eggplant, broccoli, peppers,

Fruits (all cooked), most fruit cept apples and citrus. Most non-citrus including:
peaches, cranberries, apricots, papaya, plums, prunes, cherries, bananas, grapes, pears, pineapples, kiwi, mangos, melons, cherries, berries,


I'll be honest. Most of this stuff, I have no idea what to do with or how to eat. I don't even know if I like it.
Any help would be great.

Oh and what is my protein?


One reply was this:
The reason to eliminate *everything* and add things back one at a time is to do a controlled experiment. If you have four things affecting you, and you remove only one of them, there are still three things affecting you that you have to "see around" to determine that the fourth is affecting you. And then also figure out the other three. It's simply not a clean, scientific test.

Inconsiderate people

Feeling better. Not 100% but better. I just got to work and someone had left a container (opened) of brownies sitting on the filing cabinet. In front of the door that constantly opens blowing air onto/past the brownies, possibly in my work area. Sorry I mean def in my work area. I asked that they be removed and believe it or not, I got an attitude. I get it, you don’t understand, that’s fine. BUT I have a disease that is killing me. Right now, as I type. The only way to recover and get better is avoid consumption and cross contamination of these gluten containing items. Otherwise, I die. Not just get real sick and have a stomach ache. Or even ‘cramps’ as they like to refer to my pain. (They meaning, all the uninformed people I associate with everyday). Its fine that you don’t know everything there is to know about celiac disease but guess what? That doesn’t mean you can make light of my disease. I wouldn’t do that to anyone.
It’s really annoying that just because people don’t know, they judge. You would actually think that is backwards. Like, if you know everything about a certain subject, then you can judge people right? But, it’s the people who don’t know about shit, that judge. I’ll tell you this, sometimes, when people judge me… Let’s just say I would prefer they judge my fist in their face for being ignorant.

Let’s go over some crazy details about gluten.

The amount of gluten it takes to do damage to ones intestines is microscopic. In the case of gluten, a lot or a little does the same amount of damage. So, yes, that little crumb you leave on my desk, keyboard, phone... can and probably will kill me.

Gluten kills. If a person with celiac gets gluten in their system by food consumption, cross contamination, breathing particles, etc... It will kill them. Does it really make a difference if they die right now or in 10 years? Would you be more aware of gluten if it killed me on the spot? Cause if the answer to that is yes. Do me a favor and never speak to me again. Because as far as I’m concerned, you are contributing to my slow and rather painful death. Thanks for that by the way.

Cross contamination. What does that mean? You eat gluten and have particles on your lips, then take a sip of my drink. Bam. CC (cross contamination) you ate gluten and believe it or not, still have some on your hands, then touch my pen. Bam CC. You ate something and you sneeze on my keyboard (gross) and CC.

How many times a day do you put your hands to your mouth? Think about it? I apply Chap Stick, lip gloss etc... A few different times a day. I scratch my lips, wipe my lips, rest my face on my hands, lick my lips, wipe my mouth on my shirt sleeve or my wrist, wipe the sweat from my upper lip/nose area, did I mention scratch my lip? Cause I do that all the time. Apparently.
Not only do I have to make sure gluten doesn’t end up on my fingers and lips, I have to make sure it’s not on my shirt, wrist, back of the hand. In my laundry soap, lotion, nail polish, lip stick, toothpaste, mouthwash... etc... Get it? It’s bad enough that I have to watch everything I do but I also have to watch everything everyone else does? Great. Now, all you non-celiac, are you starting to get the point? By eating a brownie and typing on my keyboard, you are clearly CC’ing me. So, next time you decide to give me a dirty look for cleaning off my counter space, my keyboard or even the damn door handle, I’m gonna put cyanide in your coffee. Don’t worry though; it’ll be so minute, you won’t even notice. Right? Cause that’s how it should be. Just a little wont hurt, well, too much. Although it may seem I am speaking to one person, you need to realize this is supposed to be a blog for all celiac and non-celiac. To learn from each others mistakes, including mine. So Thanks to all of you who keep me on my toes and are now stars of my blog.

Gluten is in post-it notes, on stamps, envelopes, the beginning and end of the toilet paper roll. Gluten is in shampoo, hair gel, Chap Stick, nail polish, lotion, hand soap. Washing your hands after using a public bathroom is risky because of the hand soap. Oh, I never thought that through. I just went to the bathroom and washed my hands with soap that I have no idea what brand it is. Wow. How crazy.

OK this blog is done. Thanks for stopping by celiac.

Still Sick

I went to work today but it was very hard. The truck was bumpy and getting in and out was tiresome. It was also the easiest day I have had at UPS. After 3 hours I had to leave. I am still feeling terrible. The pain isn’t as bad but it still hurts. I can’t explain exactly what it feels like.
I took a nap for an hour and ate a little before going to my other job. Not even 10 minutes in and I regret going. My stomach pain started to get worse, and then it started to burn. Now this feeling is familiar. Normally running to the bathroom and sitting there for 45 minutes quickly follows the burning, but not this time.
I went home after only 3 hours; I just couldn’t be there anymore. Now I’m at home and although I feel better... I don’t know if I feel better. Did that make sense? Haha no. I don’t seem to have bad stomach pains but I am also sitting on the couch with my warm laptop on me. It could be relaxing my muscles but then again, I don’t know if that’s even a good thing. For all I know, I could be making things worse.
I am trying to do some more celiac research cause after all this, I feel like I have a lot more to learn. I’ll say this though, If I end up being allergic to corn or some other random thing that is “in” everything (like gluten); I’m seriously going to lose my mind. The only reason I say that about corn is because my snack of choice is corn chips with cheese or salsa. I get pretty gassy at night and in the morning. The only time I eat corn chips is at night. I thought it was the requip that may have gluten in it, that’s why I was feeling crappy. It could just be the chips. Corn. Not good.

I’m off to bed. I really hope tomorrow is a much better day. That’s my Christmas wish. haha

I hate this

Can I give up?

I am so stressed and I don't care if I am sick, I just want this complicated 'stuff' to be done. I can't take it anymore.

I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel and I am driving myself crazy with worry.

Glutened Right NOW!

It hurts so bad. My stomach. Oh…. It feels like a rock or a knot. I don’t know but I hate this. I have no idea what I ate and why this keeps happening but I can’t take it anymore. Everyday I am sick. I am trying to get ready for work and the pain is almost unbearable. I can’t sit cause that hurts, I can’t lay down cause I won’t want to get up. Which we all know that as soon as I lay down, I’ll have to run to the bathroom. Of course, this time, I am not so sure it will end in the bathroom. It hurts to much. I just want to stick a needle in my stomach and release the pressure. It’s not gas so that won’t work. (Not that I have a needle long enough.) I need to go to the hospital so they can cut me open and take out or repair whatever is causing this pain. Just please get it out of me. Whatever I ate, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.
Its funny, I keep thinking that the name why me celiac is whiny. It’s sounds like pity me, I have celiac disease. I have thought of other names that would be better appropriate but its times like these... where it is so very fitting. What did I do, why me? How come people walk around every day with no problems and I walk around with a stomach ache. Or worse. I am trying to make money to pay my bills and I can’t even get ready to go to work. I am stuck here. In pain. So yeah, why me? I am a hard worker and I love money. I have been working 14-16 hour days the last few weeks just to get some bills paid. No breaks. No lunch at UPS and no dinner at National. I don’t even have money for Christmas presents. Not even for my Mom. No one. All because a little piece of gluten has been holding me down for 2 years.
You may know that I have struggled to hold a job for the past 2 ½ years. Sometimes I am stuck in bed for weeks. Now that I know what’s wrong... why can’t I be working and making all of that back? It’s so frustrating. Gluten is everywhere. Lotion, make-up, toothpaste, my counter, the cars I clean, on door knobs. I’m not safe. This is so hard. I feel like I am gonna cry. I can’t take it.
So I looked at the clock, I have been sitting here for 25 minutes in terrible pain. I just want to crawl in a ball. My truck is running. I went out to warm it up and bam (!) pain.

Help me.

I stopped writing two hours ago cause the pain ended up being really bad. I was in the fetal position with tears streaming down my face when my mom came home. She gave me a heating pad and some tissue, to start with. I think the heating pad worked a little cause I could hear the gas bubbles starting to move and that’s always a good sign. I still haven’t gone to the bathroom which is confusing but I could be all bound up from the eggs, milk and soy that I over-consume daily. My stomach still hurts (not terribly like before) and its been 3 hours now. I am looking up all the products I use for GF status. This is so irritating as you probably already know.

Seriously

Sometimes I feel like everything I eat is making me sick. It is so hard to feel good. I thought I had this “gluten thing” figured out but I was wrong. Tonight I had a salad. That I made. What could have made my stomach turn? I don’t feel “glutened” as they call it on celiac.com, but I don’t feel very well. My stomach hurts. I don’t feel like I have been kicked or punched in the stomach (that’s what I read on other sites). I just have a simple stomach ache. But what’s the point of eating gluten-free if I’m just gonna have stomach aches anyways? Honestly. I am so frustrated, like I can’t figure it out. I want to call my doctor that diagnosed me and punch him in the nose. Maybe he is wrong. Maybe I have some other disease that makes the villi in your intestines lie down. Because lets say I do have celiac disease… why do I feel sick still?

The only thing that has changed is the fact that I can actually use the bathroom. Before I was diagnosed it would be days even weeks before I could go. Not weeks but maybe a week and a half. Now, I just eat something my stomach doesn’t care for very much and voila.. potty. Haha that’s funny and TMI. Sorry.
How can I help others if I can’t even help myself? I need to find out if other people went through this stuff when first diagnosed. If it’s true and these are the stages.. then some new celiacs are going to be psyched that I decided to blog this stuff. I just get so aggravated and don’t know what to do. I wish I could read someone else’s blog to know if this is real. Am I going through the stages or not?

I know that in 6 months, I’ll forget the fact that I went through a very emotional stage when I cried over everything. Everything happy that is. (insert story here)So funny. I was stopped in traffic one day and a friend of mine informed me that there was a race going through our city. It was a pre-Boston marathon. But still a marathon. I thought that was great. All those people out there running to raise money for a good cause. I wish I could do that. I have never been able to run. I’ve tried. A couple times actually. Anyways, my point. Sorry, I do that. We sat there for a good 30 minutes cause you can’t stop the marathon runners and I could hear the people clapping. I thought “how sweet”. Then I saw some firefighters out there clapping, supporting the runners. That’s all it took, I lost it. I started to get all choked up and just started to cry. My friend had no idea what my emotions were capable of so he looked at me like I had two heads. I called my mom to inform her that there was a marathon going on and I was crying. I also told her that there were firefighters cheering them on and I thought that was amazing. She laughed at me and asked “Did you really just call me to tell me that you’re crying?”. I sure did, and it was funny. Cause you see, I didn’t just cry. I laughed at the fact that I was so emotional. Every time I cried, I laughed. So you see me with tears (not watery eyes have you) streaming down my face and laughing. Not the kind of.. oh I’m laughing so hard, I’m now crying. Nope, I’m laughing, cause I am so stupid right now for crying. haha funny huh? Hopefully everyone with celiac disease goes through that stage cause its awesome. Back thankfully over. Ready for the next stage.
OK. Gotta run. What the heck am I going to title this?

Gluten Free vacation in the Dominican Republic

I went on vacation. To the Dominican Republic. I was NEVER sick! I felt great. The people there were more than accomodating. I ate amazing food. I talked to the guest relations people and they helped me pick my restaurants. One day we got a note that said for me to go to the front desk. I had to meet the head chef cause he wanted to talk to me but we needed a translator to be there. Every restaurant I went to, I handed the waiter/waitress my gluten free card (I'll explain). It was funnt to see their faces as they read what I was handing them. Then they would go to another eprson and show them, then the manager.. haha It happened like this every night. It was kinda neat, I felt special. They really wanted to help. Unlike here.. where everyone seems to be put off or maybe they have to work a little harder. ugh. lets not go there.

So I bought this card that explains I can't eat gluten in spanish. Here is the info.

Soy alérgico al trigo, al centeno, a la cebada, a la avena, a la salsa de soja y a la
malta.

It says that I am allergic to wheat, rye barley and oats. Then it adds soy sauce and malt. I think thats there because people dont realize they have wheat or gluten in them too.

This thing was my life saver. Seriously. I thought I lost it once and almost cried. It was bad. Of course, I practically had the thing memorized. haha

OK OK, so where did I go? Iberstar Bavaro, in Punta Cana. Also the Iberostar dominicana and punta cana. You can barely tell the difference between the restaurants. My only suggestion is this!! If you drink, plan a few different ways to drink rum and vodka. I was limited enough, and running out of ideas was terrible. And I used to be a bartender!

Ok. time for bed for real this time!

Update. Sorry it's been awhile

So, life as I know it is not as easy as it was before. Oh wait, thats not quite an update is it? What I mean is that I don't feel so well. I'm thinking that I was so careful at the beginning and now, I'm not and must be getting alittle gluten everyday. I haven't been too sick since diagnosed which is probably why I havent blogged.
I need to find out if the meds that I take are gluten free. 1 out of 3 are. The other two, I need to call the drug company and find out. Thats extra work and I'm so lazy.

Oh Gold bond (lotion) is gluten free and only the best lotion ever! I was using lubriderm but those people test on animals. So, they suck.

I went from 141 to 128 lbs. I havent been under 130 since I was 24. I am 32.

At first, I was going to the bathroom regulary everyday. (TMI?) I'm not anymore. Thats another reason why I think gluten is sneaking in to my mouth. haha

Someone in my house came very close to contaminating me the other day and thankfully, I am very anal about this stuff. Otherwise, I never would've noticed. It's hard to live with others that are not gluten free. There is a loaf of bread in my house and it scares the crap out of me. I know that sounds crazy but I dont want to be sick. I can't afford to be out of work and too busy to be bed ridden.

One strange thing that I noticed. I used to have a very dry scalp. My hairdresser never could figure out why. So, I bought a product that was supposed to work. It didn't. Not even a week after cutting out gluten, my scalp is fine. No problems. Strange huh?

I never should have read all the candy and bad foods that are safe... dangerous (in a different way) I liked how I was eating at first. Fruit salad, chick or tuna, yogurt, chic stir fry.. Now, I have added noodles (rice noodles), chocolate, cool whip, potatoes (too many potatoes!!) rice, cereal. Seriously. There are tons of things celiacs can eat. I tell people, I can eat the same thing as everyone else. Just not the same brand.

The hardest thing to get used to is saying no. People offer me food all the time and even if its gluten free, their hands may not be. You really need to keep with the attitude that you cant trust anyone. haha that sounds terrible. Its true though. People dont really know. I had to do a ton of research to find out what I know. and I'm not about to try to educate everyone else. Maybe just one at a time.

Thats it for now. I need to take my meds (gluten free or not) and go to bed.

I promise to write again soon. Although, I dont realy think anyone reads this site. haha oh well.

Eating Out

We all know how difficult eating out can be for Celiacs, so I have avoided it. Tonight was my sisters wedding and it was unavoidable. I didn't have time to pack a lunch and I knew I had to eat. On the way there, Jordan's girlfriend called and informed them that I had to have a gluten free meal and they said that it would be ok. Sounds too good to be true, right? Exactly. So just after they served soup (I didn't eat it), I went up to a lady and told her we had called and I needed a GF meal. She seemed confused at what GF was but hopeful. Not even 2 minutes into this little conversation, she said this; Is that like a vegetarian meal? Haha. Nooo.. it's not at all like a any-"THING" meal. This is not a thing. People choose to be vegetarians and when I was asked if I wanted to have Celiac disease and live GF.. I'm pretty sure I declined. Oh wait, no. I had no choice, did I. Well, luckily she is not the cook. Stay positive.
After trying to explain all this at the table, in front of everyone, I suggested speaking with the cook. I forgot how hellish it is working in a banquet kitchen so that was impossible. Then, I decided to write down what I felt I could have. Safe foods. Salad, oil and vinegar dressing and steamed veggies. So, I tracked down a lady and asked if I could write a few things down. I wrote salad first and stressed that croutons couldn't be in the vicinity of the area. The more a person doesn't seem to get the gist, the more I exaggerate. Then I wrote steamed veggies and said butter should be ok. Thats when I told her that spices and seasoning of any kind are off limits. Guess what she said. haha. "Well it's okay if they are cooked with it right?" As much as I could dwell on what she said and think of all kinds of horrible remarks that would be fitting, they are not appropriate. NO. It can't be cooked with them either. Then I suggested instead of cooking a meat, just take a cantaloupe and cut it in half and bring it to the table. I know that sounds mean but I would've been fine with that. I would've been great.
Dinner came out and they even put some roasted peppers on the chicken.. yumm. I felt okay.
My cousin comes over with choc covered strawberries... I jumped up.. Oh I am so sure I can have that. Hell yeah a choc fondue. I figured because I use choc chips for baking and haven't found any that are off limits yet, I would be safe. Two marshmellows and a huge strawberry. This is the life.
So guess who got vilantly ill tonight? I wouldn't know cause it wasn't me!!! :-) It was a success. I am so happy cause that public bathroom was not where I wanted to spend the night.

Stomach ache

For the past couple weeks I have had a stomach ache. I dont know if somehow I am getting glutened or maybe there is more to my illness. I started reading the ingredients of my hair gel, make-up, shampoo.. etc.. They all contained gluten so I threw them out. Of course, I am still sick. I am watching my foods and got rid of gluten from products that may enter my mouth through my hands. I wont eat anything that someone else offers me. Gluten free or not, their hands could have gluten on them and I can't take the risk that I will be glutened.

Now, I can't even protect myself at home and work but I am going on vacation in 2 weeks, in a spanish speaking country. I am so nervous. If I successfully have a great vacation; I will go to every Celiac website and talk about it. OK, well not every one, but I know how hard it is to go places and I am going to a place that doesn't even speak English.

Just wanted to give an update, I know it's been awhile. The last few days or weeks have been frustating but still manageable. I will post more.

Food trouble, no longer

All Celiacs need to join Celiac.com

This is an ongoing list of name brand Gluten-Free items.

Here

I can only hope to keep up with all these items. The thing that confuses me is that Hersheys bars are GF right? But the minis aren't? It's the same food but smaller. Its so hard to remember. When in doubt.. leave it out. I can't say how many times I've thought of that in the past month.

There is plenty of food to eat and so many options for quick meals, dont get discouraged. Just wash your hands, dont eat from the same chip bag as others, read labels every time..

Being Celiac has it's positives too. For instance, we eat better and are aware of germs. We wash our hands.. a lot!!, we don't bother with foods that have ingredients we cannot pronounce.. see? It's not so bad. (I say this now.. wait till tomorrow or next week.)

I am trying to stay positive.
can you tell?

Links to GF Foods

Which Necco products are Gluten Free?

woot woot!! Love these things.

KRAFT will label their products clearly and if something contains gluten, it will be in paranthesis. Here is a good place to look.. KRAFT

Dove and Ghiradeli are GF. Always check for yourself.


Hood products that are GF are here


Gluten-Free pasta


This is one of my favorite places to find new GF foods


The following candies are gluten-free:

Andes Mints, Blow Pops, Butterfinger, Canada Mints, Candy Stix, Charleston Chew, Charms Pops, Chunkys, Clark Bar, Dots, Dove Chocolate Bar, Jelly Belly Jelly Beans, Junior Mints, M & Ms, Mary Janes, Necco Wafers, Nestlé Turtles, Peeps, Peppermint Patties, Russel Stover (almost all), Skittles, Sky Bar, Snickers, Spree, Sugar Daddy Pops, Sweethearts, Conversation Hearts, Swedish Fish, Three Musketeers, Tootsie Pops, Tootsie Rolls, Wonka; Bottlecaps, Gobstopper, Laffy Taffy, Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip, Nerds, Pixy Stix, Runts, Shockers, SweeTARTS, Tart N Tinys, and Nerds

Will that hold you over for a bit? haha

The best way to find out if an item is GF is by going right to the source. The second best way (IMO) is typing in.. is _______ Gluten free? In the search engine (Google of course)and reading the article. Most of the time I will see the topic is from celiac.com and I click on that. I trust anything I read from there. Those people are Celiacs and would not steer you wrong.

I love Food.

More shopping is making me realize how much stuff is gluten free and also how badly I need a PDA. I am constantly calling someone to have them search for items for me, while I shop. I just found out that Jelly Belly (Jelly Beans) are in fact gluten free. How cool is that? I'm going back to the store and buying them tomorrow. What a quick, yummy, picker upper. That's a weird looking sentence huh? Anyways, I am about to make some GF dessert and first I have to Google all the ingredients. Last thing I want is a delicious treat making me sick.
I had pizza tonight!! I was in the local health food store and happened to notice a pizza crust that said GF. I was skeptical cause they say, although the company may declare an item GF, you still need to check. Well, I did and it was. So, I got some GF pizza sauce, shredded cheese, feta cheese, spinach in a can and home I went. It was quite crunchy but ooh soo good. The crust was made with rice flour and potatoes! yea for me.
So now I am going to make something out of GF for dummies. I think the PBFudge is the winner here, just gotta make sure I have all the ingredients. And of course Google them.
So the more I search I find myself excited about trying new foods. In the past, I would hear about something that sounded good or saw something I knew I could make at home, but never did. Now, I see something and realize that not only can I make it, but it will be fun too! The best part about making all these new things.. knowing that after I eat them, I wont be sick. Food is so much more fun now. Maybe I'm crazy but I seem to enjoy food better and actually get excited when it's time to eat. What I eat and what I see my co-workers eating are two different ends of the spectrum. They order fried and greasy food every night. I find it funny that although it smells yummy.. I really have no interest in putting that crap in my mouth. It's funny cause I'm serious. So far I haven't been bored with my options and I feel like now that I know whats been making me sick.. I actually am open to trying new things. That is.. if they are gluten free.

Ohh what now?

Ok. I know what glutened is. I know what it's like to feel good!! But what the heck is this? Two days in a row I feel like crap. I must have some sort of intolerance too. Ha. Like being a celiac isn't hard enough.

My stomach is cramping and bloating, I feel gassy, okay no lie, I am gassy. Oops don't tell my co-workers.

I am trying so hard to eat right. I wont take anything from anyone and always wash my hands. I even make an effort to keep my hands from my face. I'm one of those. Oh no, I just realized. I wonder if its my lipstick. The other day I went to put my lip gloss on and I saw wheat oil. Wheat oil? In this??? nooo. So needless to say, that $10 went down the drain. I wonder if maybe I am having the same problem today. Shoot.

That brings me to another thought. I haven't looked up my toothpaste or laundry detergent yet. My GI said not to worry about cross-contamination right now. I think he is wrong. I think that my symptoms today are mild glutened-like reactions. Hmmph, did I just invent that word?

I hate this. I hate feeling sick, especially when I know "how not" to feel sick. This is hard. very very hard. Anyone who doesn't think it sounds too bad should be punched in the stomach for a straight 12 hours after taking an entire box of laxatives. Ooh rough.

I'm not trying to make light of celiac disease with my sarcastic remarks and please dont ever take it that way. I will be the first to tell you that life as we know it has changed forever. Is it for the better? Thats still a mystery to me. (but I hope it is)

Shopping

So today (the 17th actually), I went shopping with my mother. She actually set out to go food shop on her own but remembering what my initial experience was like.. I could not let her go. Now, remember this person is not Celiac but has chosen to be gluten free in the house for me. She had done some research on which food brands were gluten free. I told her that although they say they are (GF), you still have to read the label, every time. It is hard to explain this to people. I have to though, cause I dont want them to think I am being crazy reading the labels every time. The best way I could think is to say, "gluten is a cheap protein they use to keep the foods consitancy". Most people seem to get that. Although I made it up, but whatever. So maybe 5 minutes into shopping, she's stressed. Poor Mom, I chuckle but offer encouraging words and chuckle again. I know thats mean but come on... I've been there. My mother even read somewhere that the food should not be put on the conveyor belt. I told her that its too early to be crazy. haha.

Do you know how hard it is to tell someone who is not celiac that one of the foods they picked up is not okay? Oh, tough, I'll tell you that. I let her get away with a few things. The house is not completely gluten free and I'll break it to her another time. As long as I am not the one ingesting these items.. who does it hurt, you know?

Maybe to some of, I sound optimistic and carefree but it's still really hard. I try to pack a big lunch for work. That way, I have plenty of food. I pack something sweet, protein, carbs, etc.. Who knows what you'll be in the mood for and if I crave something and deprive myslef of that item.. things will be bad. It's like going on a diet and craving chocolate. You can't deprive yourself, or you'll just break down. Well, breaking down is not an option for us Celiacs. Breaking down means paying the price and paying the price ultimately means death. Harsh I know, I wrote it.

Soon enough I'll be giving out advice on what is a good lunch to pack. I'm still learning remember. Just bring enough to keep yourself happy. You may look like a pig at first but think of it this way... as people say, oh wow if you cant eat all this stuff then what CAN you eat?? and you show up with a huge lunch bag... who's jealous now?? haha

I Was Glutened

Oh Boy. I don't know what I did wrong today but it hurt! I knew right away, stomach kinda hurting, sweating a bit.. oh I know this feeling all to well. I was glutened.

I just want to say "How did I go 6 years feeling like this?" These last two weeks have been great! Now that I really have something to compare. I don't ever want to eat gluten again. So all those yummy desserts and filling breads.. forget it. I am so done with you. Nothing, and I mean, Nothing in this world is worth going through that. Not even Sam Adams October.

So do I have to get into detail? I'll say this. Picture your worst stomach pains (I'm talking to Celiacs), remember the sweats? Oh and the feeling that you are about to explode. Well, I know I didn't have it as bad as I've read. I know it hurt and I was at work and wanted to be at home. I know that I never ever want to be there or worse. I can't even imagine worse. Ok If you are newly diagnosed and are reading this cause you want to know what to expect, you got it. Do not eat gluten, it is not worth it. Try so hard to avoid it. Do reasearch!! Google everything you have in the house and want to eat.

Thats it for now. BTW, my stomach still hurts. It's not something that just came and went.

Exhausted

Hello readers (or not)
I woke up today and had a few missed calls and text messages. The three people that made me feel like I was alone yesterday called to talk. Each in thier own way had apologized and said they would do anything to help. I believe it's true. I also know it will be difficult and unless they had to research hours and hours on end, they will never understand what it's truly like to be me.

I still feel like I'm all I have. What I mean by that is, no one is going to do the research, buy the food and teach me how to be. It's up to me. I have to start all over. Life has thrown me a big curve ball and the best thing I can do is be on top of it.

I think I want to talk more about how I felt yesterday. It was very hard for me to hear my friends and family making it seem like this was something that would pass. Like all of sudden when I cut gluten out of my diet, I will be fine. Yeah fine, not sick anymore, not having a disease, then I can go on and continue my life. Well, although I am still in the learning phases, I can tell you that this... is not going anywhere. It is part of me and as life goes on.. it goes on. There is no cure. I'm pretty sure that I will never be normal again.

After typing that last sentence, I realized that many people who get diagnosed with 'something' feel that they will never be normal again. Like whatever that has just happened, has turned the world against them. I have always been one of those people, it isn't fun.

For years I have asked myself.....WHY ME?

and now that I have celiac disease, it seems to be just fitting, why me celiac?

My first GF breakdown

Today was the worst day ever. (well the new Celiac diseased me)
Picture me on the internet (again) reading some more, getting even more discouraged, feeling sad.. and my mother comes in. I started to tell her about cross contamination and how we may need to separate the cooking utensils.. etc.. and she looks at me and says "umm I think you're exaggerating this a bit too much, don't you think?" That's kinda funny that she said that cause I just read a forum about friends and family being hurtful due to lack of knowledge. I asked her to please read more about it and that I had just found out so much. I still need to figure things out.
I can't begin to tell you readers (if you're out there) how confused I am. I'm lost. I feel good as far as the pain goes, no belly aches, going to the bathroom daily, and nooo gassy bloating feeling. But my head hurts, my eyes are tired and my heart just wants to rest. You know that feeling when you just want to crawl in a ball and lay on the bed and NOT TALK to anyone? well, today, that's me.

My mother and I start to fight. She is trying, really she is. But I didn't see that. She said a few things that are hurtful. It gets worse.. stick with me.

Friend comes over. I told her that my dry scalp is possibly due to gluten in my shampoo. (first I need to tell you that I am in no way over loading these people with GF info.)(I promise) She rolled her eyes and kinda smirked. She said something along the lines of not believing shampoo would have gluten in it. It got worse in the car but I'm not about to insult her because she is uneducated.

Last part, I promise.. My ex came over. Small chit chat and he asked how I was. I told him I got into an argument with my mother and friend was snotty tonight. I began to tell him about the strict kitchen guidelines that my mother and I fought over and before I could get half way through.. he said some smart-ass remark like "Do your dogs have gluten too?" I said, yes actually and I have to change their diet cause if they lick me.. he then said that it's good I feel better but my 'condition' is making me bitchy. My condition? haha oh is that all it is, geesh and I was all worried. phew

haha WOAH... That's it. I stopped talking. I went upstairs and cried. I am so upset and this is not easy. I feel alone. No matter if my friends and family say they will help and they will go gluten free, there is no way.. no way... they can possible go through what I am going through. Are they doing the research? Are they worried about what to eat everyday? They never were before how can they start now.
I think I'm gonna vomit.

OK. I will keep posting to record my new gluten free journey. Today sucks.

You have Celiac disease

Aug 27Th. Monday my doctor called and told me I have Celiac Sprue. He suggested I look up some information to learn more about it and set up an appointment with a dietitian. At first I was happy. I couldn't believe it. We figured it out. I knew for 6 years that what I had was more than IBS. I text'd my recently ex-boyfriend, my friend and my Mom; to share the news. It took a few days but I understand that I must remove Gluten from my diet and I will feel better. Hmph.. that doesn't sound easy. Two days later I head out to the food store to buy some gluten free stuff. It took three hours, a big headache and a feeling of failure before I paid for my groceries (all $30 worth). That's it, 3 hours for $30.
Now I knew I had a lot more to learn.
I love the Internet!

I googled everything I could possibly think of. I started a file for foods that are gluten free. I separated it by breakfast, lunch, dinner, dairy, meats, snacks... You get the point. I have every major food company in my favorites for quick look up. Then I found this website that said ingredients change all the time. ppffftt.. are you kidding me? I did all this research to find out that I still have to read the labels?? Not only that but I have to read them each time I buy the item cause it could change... WHAT??

Lets speed up a little with a summary. I am feeling great. I can't believe it. I mean seriously, I want to go for a run. I can't wait to be 100 percent. (The reason I'm not 100% is because of a prescription drug side effect. I'm not trying to change subject so I'd like to leave it at that.) In the past week, I think I've had some gas and minor bloating, only two of the seven days. I'm on top of the world. Except for the Insomnia. I guess its a common reaction when re-introducing gluten.

More research... and on and on.. I'm talking hours of Internet searching and blog reading. I even bought a few books to read. Right now my world revolves around this. Get the point? Cause it's essential to know whats going on.