Corn chips

Ok. So I have been doing a really restrcted diet to try and figure out why I have been bloated and gassy. Please know that when I say gassy, it doesn't mean I simply have bubbles in my stomach or that I am releasing this gas. It is a bit painful and is just traveling around my belly, not really going anywhere. So, don't think I am stinking up my house. It would be nice to release some of this, trust me.

Last night I added some peanut butter to my diet. It's just peanuts and salt. No added oils. I ate it with rice cakes. They are GF. Then I decided to pig out on corn chips. Maybe 30 minutes later, I had gas. A LOT! Is it the corn chips or is it the salt. I did have quite a bit of salt yesterday.

I had 3 spoons of peanut butter about 15 minutes ago and I can already feel my belly acting up. So, salt? I should probably get back to the strict diet and drop all this salty crap.

Even though I am trying, I'm not trying hard enough. So back to the bland stuff.
I so badly want to get back to eatinh whatever I want. I just want to say screw this diet thing. But the problem is that something I am eating is making me sick. Until I figure that out... well you get the point.

So food store tomorrow. I will be buying
sweet potatoes, pears and peaches, chicken, rice cakes and possibly some rice milk. I was so excited to add some cinnamon into my diet but now that my stomach hurts, it's probably not the best idea. I'll have to go a few days feeling fine first.

Wow, my stomach really is starting to hurt. Was it the peanut butter or the salt? Probably the peanut butter, so thats done for a while.

Oh I hate this. Why? Everyday. ugh.

This diet sucks

This is the third day and my stomach has not stopped being gassy. This stinks. I am eating fresh fruit. cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, dried cranberries, Sliced almonds (they are allowed), avacadoes, strawberries and bananas. Thats my breakfast and/or lunch.
Dinner is chicken (free range), red and orange peppers, mushrooms, brown rice, brocolli (Not a lot), safflower oil, tyme, sage, rosemary.

I think thats about it. I have had a plain rice cake.
I wonder if its the meds I take at night. The worst part of the day is first thing in the morning. My stomach just goes nuts.

I am so sick of being sick. Can't I just have a good day, or two? Sorry, I know it's the pity me that's talking.

Anyways. Do I just continue this elimination diet? Obviously what I cut out is NOT what was making me sickif I am still sick.
Advice?

A post from Celiac.com

OK. Just when you think everything is getting better. Bam. stomach ache. It's been going on now for 4 weeks. Someone suggested that I do an elimination diet which as you can tell, I'm psyched about.

Anyways. I really don't know what to eat. It is so limited and I'm a tad bit confused. Why should I eliminate everything? Wouldn't it make more sense to eliminate one problem food at a time? Cause when you start to add this stuff back in, you may feel sick. Or should I say you will. And the diet goes as this... if you feel sick. don't eat it again. Well, I don't want to be sick thank you. So, like I said before, would it be more practical if I started with soy and milk then went to nuts and corn? Or something? Probably not

I wont eat lamb. Thats cruel so please don't suggest that. Here is what it says I can eat.
Foods to eat on an elimination diet:

Starches (all cooked), including:
brown rice, sweet potatoes, winter squash,taro (or poi), tapioca rice flour, puffed rice

Most Green, Yellow, or Vegetables (all cooked), most veg exp corn, potato, tomato, peas, beans, legumes, including:
beets, beet greens, chard, summer squash, artichokes, celery, string beans, asparagus, spinach, lettuce,
carrots, asparagus, cauliflower, avocados, garlic, cukes, eggplant, broccoli, peppers,

Fruits (all cooked), most fruit cept apples and citrus. Most non-citrus including:
peaches, cranberries, apricots, papaya, plums, prunes, cherries, bananas, grapes, pears, pineapples, kiwi, mangos, melons, cherries, berries,


I'll be honest. Most of this stuff, I have no idea what to do with or how to eat. I don't even know if I like it.
Any help would be great.

Oh and what is my protein?


One reply was this:
The reason to eliminate *everything* and add things back one at a time is to do a controlled experiment. If you have four things affecting you, and you remove only one of them, there are still three things affecting you that you have to "see around" to determine that the fourth is affecting you. And then also figure out the other three. It's simply not a clean, scientific test.

Inconsiderate people

Feeling better. Not 100% but better. I just got to work and someone had left a container (opened) of brownies sitting on the filing cabinet. In front of the door that constantly opens blowing air onto/past the brownies, possibly in my work area. Sorry I mean def in my work area. I asked that they be removed and believe it or not, I got an attitude. I get it, you don’t understand, that’s fine. BUT I have a disease that is killing me. Right now, as I type. The only way to recover and get better is avoid consumption and cross contamination of these gluten containing items. Otherwise, I die. Not just get real sick and have a stomach ache. Or even ‘cramps’ as they like to refer to my pain. (They meaning, all the uninformed people I associate with everyday). Its fine that you don’t know everything there is to know about celiac disease but guess what? That doesn’t mean you can make light of my disease. I wouldn’t do that to anyone.
It’s really annoying that just because people don’t know, they judge. You would actually think that is backwards. Like, if you know everything about a certain subject, then you can judge people right? But, it’s the people who don’t know about shit, that judge. I’ll tell you this, sometimes, when people judge me… Let’s just say I would prefer they judge my fist in their face for being ignorant.

Let’s go over some crazy details about gluten.

The amount of gluten it takes to do damage to ones intestines is microscopic. In the case of gluten, a lot or a little does the same amount of damage. So, yes, that little crumb you leave on my desk, keyboard, phone... can and probably will kill me.

Gluten kills. If a person with celiac gets gluten in their system by food consumption, cross contamination, breathing particles, etc... It will kill them. Does it really make a difference if they die right now or in 10 years? Would you be more aware of gluten if it killed me on the spot? Cause if the answer to that is yes. Do me a favor and never speak to me again. Because as far as I’m concerned, you are contributing to my slow and rather painful death. Thanks for that by the way.

Cross contamination. What does that mean? You eat gluten and have particles on your lips, then take a sip of my drink. Bam. CC (cross contamination) you ate gluten and believe it or not, still have some on your hands, then touch my pen. Bam CC. You ate something and you sneeze on my keyboard (gross) and CC.

How many times a day do you put your hands to your mouth? Think about it? I apply Chap Stick, lip gloss etc... A few different times a day. I scratch my lips, wipe my lips, rest my face on my hands, lick my lips, wipe my mouth on my shirt sleeve or my wrist, wipe the sweat from my upper lip/nose area, did I mention scratch my lip? Cause I do that all the time. Apparently.
Not only do I have to make sure gluten doesn’t end up on my fingers and lips, I have to make sure it’s not on my shirt, wrist, back of the hand. In my laundry soap, lotion, nail polish, lip stick, toothpaste, mouthwash... etc... Get it? It’s bad enough that I have to watch everything I do but I also have to watch everything everyone else does? Great. Now, all you non-celiac, are you starting to get the point? By eating a brownie and typing on my keyboard, you are clearly CC’ing me. So, next time you decide to give me a dirty look for cleaning off my counter space, my keyboard or even the damn door handle, I’m gonna put cyanide in your coffee. Don’t worry though; it’ll be so minute, you won’t even notice. Right? Cause that’s how it should be. Just a little wont hurt, well, too much. Although it may seem I am speaking to one person, you need to realize this is supposed to be a blog for all celiac and non-celiac. To learn from each others mistakes, including mine. So Thanks to all of you who keep me on my toes and are now stars of my blog.

Gluten is in post-it notes, on stamps, envelopes, the beginning and end of the toilet paper roll. Gluten is in shampoo, hair gel, Chap Stick, nail polish, lotion, hand soap. Washing your hands after using a public bathroom is risky because of the hand soap. Oh, I never thought that through. I just went to the bathroom and washed my hands with soap that I have no idea what brand it is. Wow. How crazy.

OK this blog is done. Thanks for stopping by celiac.

Still Sick

I went to work today but it was very hard. The truck was bumpy and getting in and out was tiresome. It was also the easiest day I have had at UPS. After 3 hours I had to leave. I am still feeling terrible. The pain isn’t as bad but it still hurts. I can’t explain exactly what it feels like.
I took a nap for an hour and ate a little before going to my other job. Not even 10 minutes in and I regret going. My stomach pain started to get worse, and then it started to burn. Now this feeling is familiar. Normally running to the bathroom and sitting there for 45 minutes quickly follows the burning, but not this time.
I went home after only 3 hours; I just couldn’t be there anymore. Now I’m at home and although I feel better... I don’t know if I feel better. Did that make sense? Haha no. I don’t seem to have bad stomach pains but I am also sitting on the couch with my warm laptop on me. It could be relaxing my muscles but then again, I don’t know if that’s even a good thing. For all I know, I could be making things worse.
I am trying to do some more celiac research cause after all this, I feel like I have a lot more to learn. I’ll say this though, If I end up being allergic to corn or some other random thing that is “in” everything (like gluten); I’m seriously going to lose my mind. The only reason I say that about corn is because my snack of choice is corn chips with cheese or salsa. I get pretty gassy at night and in the morning. The only time I eat corn chips is at night. I thought it was the requip that may have gluten in it, that’s why I was feeling crappy. It could just be the chips. Corn. Not good.

I’m off to bed. I really hope tomorrow is a much better day. That’s my Christmas wish. haha

Glutened Right NOW!

It hurts so bad. My stomach. Oh…. It feels like a rock or a knot. I don’t know but I hate this. I have no idea what I ate and why this keeps happening but I can’t take it anymore. Everyday I am sick. I am trying to get ready for work and the pain is almost unbearable. I can’t sit cause that hurts, I can’t lay down cause I won’t want to get up. Which we all know that as soon as I lay down, I’ll have to run to the bathroom. Of course, this time, I am not so sure it will end in the bathroom. It hurts to much. I just want to stick a needle in my stomach and release the pressure. It’s not gas so that won’t work. (Not that I have a needle long enough.) I need to go to the hospital so they can cut me open and take out or repair whatever is causing this pain. Just please get it out of me. Whatever I ate, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.
Its funny, I keep thinking that the name why me celiac is whiny. It’s sounds like pity me, I have celiac disease. I have thought of other names that would be better appropriate but its times like these... where it is so very fitting. What did I do, why me? How come people walk around every day with no problems and I walk around with a stomach ache. Or worse. I am trying to make money to pay my bills and I can’t even get ready to go to work. I am stuck here. In pain. So yeah, why me? I am a hard worker and I love money. I have been working 14-16 hour days the last few weeks just to get some bills paid. No breaks. No lunch at UPS and no dinner at National. I don’t even have money for Christmas presents. Not even for my Mom. No one. All because a little piece of gluten has been holding me down for 2 years.
You may know that I have struggled to hold a job for the past 2 ½ years. Sometimes I am stuck in bed for weeks. Now that I know what’s wrong... why can’t I be working and making all of that back? It’s so frustrating. Gluten is everywhere. Lotion, make-up, toothpaste, my counter, the cars I clean, on door knobs. I’m not safe. This is so hard. I feel like I am gonna cry. I can’t take it.
So I looked at the clock, I have been sitting here for 25 minutes in terrible pain. I just want to crawl in a ball. My truck is running. I went out to warm it up and bam (!) pain.

Help me.

I stopped writing two hours ago cause the pain ended up being really bad. I was in the fetal position with tears streaming down my face when my mom came home. She gave me a heating pad and some tissue, to start with. I think the heating pad worked a little cause I could hear the gas bubbles starting to move and that’s always a good sign. I still haven’t gone to the bathroom which is confusing but I could be all bound up from the eggs, milk and soy that I over-consume daily. My stomach still hurts (not terribly like before) and its been 3 hours now. I am looking up all the products I use for GF status. This is so irritating as you probably already know.

Ohh what now?

Ok. I know what glutened is. I know what it's like to feel good!! But what the heck is this? Two days in a row I feel like crap. I must have some sort of intolerance too. Ha. Like being a celiac isn't hard enough.

My stomach is cramping and bloating, I feel gassy, okay no lie, I am gassy. Oops don't tell my co-workers.

I am trying so hard to eat right. I wont take anything from anyone and always wash my hands. I even make an effort to keep my hands from my face. I'm one of those. Oh no, I just realized. I wonder if its my lipstick. The other day I went to put my lip gloss on and I saw wheat oil. Wheat oil? In this??? nooo. So needless to say, that $10 went down the drain. I wonder if maybe I am having the same problem today. Shoot.

That brings me to another thought. I haven't looked up my toothpaste or laundry detergent yet. My GI said not to worry about cross-contamination right now. I think he is wrong. I think that my symptoms today are mild glutened-like reactions. Hmmph, did I just invent that word?

I hate this. I hate feeling sick, especially when I know "how not" to feel sick. This is hard. very very hard. Anyone who doesn't think it sounds too bad should be punched in the stomach for a straight 12 hours after taking an entire box of laxatives. Ooh rough.

I'm not trying to make light of celiac disease with my sarcastic remarks and please dont ever take it that way. I will be the first to tell you that life as we know it has changed forever. Is it for the better? Thats still a mystery to me. (but I hope it is)

Shopping

So today (the 17th actually), I went shopping with my mother. She actually set out to go food shop on her own but remembering what my initial experience was like.. I could not let her go. Now, remember this person is not Celiac but has chosen to be gluten free in the house for me. She had done some research on which food brands were gluten free. I told her that although they say they are (GF), you still have to read the label, every time. It is hard to explain this to people. I have to though, cause I dont want them to think I am being crazy reading the labels every time. The best way I could think is to say, "gluten is a cheap protein they use to keep the foods consitancy". Most people seem to get that. Although I made it up, but whatever. So maybe 5 minutes into shopping, she's stressed. Poor Mom, I chuckle but offer encouraging words and chuckle again. I know thats mean but come on... I've been there. My mother even read somewhere that the food should not be put on the conveyor belt. I told her that its too early to be crazy. haha.

Do you know how hard it is to tell someone who is not celiac that one of the foods they picked up is not okay? Oh, tough, I'll tell you that. I let her get away with a few things. The house is not completely gluten free and I'll break it to her another time. As long as I am not the one ingesting these items.. who does it hurt, you know?

Maybe to some of, I sound optimistic and carefree but it's still really hard. I try to pack a big lunch for work. That way, I have plenty of food. I pack something sweet, protein, carbs, etc.. Who knows what you'll be in the mood for and if I crave something and deprive myslef of that item.. things will be bad. It's like going on a diet and craving chocolate. You can't deprive yourself, or you'll just break down. Well, breaking down is not an option for us Celiacs. Breaking down means paying the price and paying the price ultimately means death. Harsh I know, I wrote it.

Soon enough I'll be giving out advice on what is a good lunch to pack. I'm still learning remember. Just bring enough to keep yourself happy. You may look like a pig at first but think of it this way... as people say, oh wow if you cant eat all this stuff then what CAN you eat?? and you show up with a huge lunch bag... who's jealous now?? haha

Exhausted

Hello readers (or not)
I woke up today and had a few missed calls and text messages. The three people that made me feel like I was alone yesterday called to talk. Each in thier own way had apologized and said they would do anything to help. I believe it's true. I also know it will be difficult and unless they had to research hours and hours on end, they will never understand what it's truly like to be me.

I still feel like I'm all I have. What I mean by that is, no one is going to do the research, buy the food and teach me how to be. It's up to me. I have to start all over. Life has thrown me a big curve ball and the best thing I can do is be on top of it.

I think I want to talk more about how I felt yesterday. It was very hard for me to hear my friends and family making it seem like this was something that would pass. Like all of sudden when I cut gluten out of my diet, I will be fine. Yeah fine, not sick anymore, not having a disease, then I can go on and continue my life. Well, although I am still in the learning phases, I can tell you that this... is not going anywhere. It is part of me and as life goes on.. it goes on. There is no cure. I'm pretty sure that I will never be normal again.

After typing that last sentence, I realized that many people who get diagnosed with 'something' feel that they will never be normal again. Like whatever that has just happened, has turned the world against them. I have always been one of those people, it isn't fun.

For years I have asked myself.....WHY ME?

and now that I have celiac disease, it seems to be just fitting, why me celiac?