Exhausted

Hello readers (or not)
I woke up today and had a few missed calls and text messages. The three people that made me feel like I was alone yesterday called to talk. Each in thier own way had apologized and said they would do anything to help. I believe it's true. I also know it will be difficult and unless they had to research hours and hours on end, they will never understand what it's truly like to be me.

I still feel like I'm all I have. What I mean by that is, no one is going to do the research, buy the food and teach me how to be. It's up to me. I have to start all over. Life has thrown me a big curve ball and the best thing I can do is be on top of it.

I think I want to talk more about how I felt yesterday. It was very hard for me to hear my friends and family making it seem like this was something that would pass. Like all of sudden when I cut gluten out of my diet, I will be fine. Yeah fine, not sick anymore, not having a disease, then I can go on and continue my life. Well, although I am still in the learning phases, I can tell you that this... is not going anywhere. It is part of me and as life goes on.. it goes on. There is no cure. I'm pretty sure that I will never be normal again.

After typing that last sentence, I realized that many people who get diagnosed with 'something' feel that they will never be normal again. Like whatever that has just happened, has turned the world against them. I have always been one of those people, it isn't fun.

For years I have asked myself.....WHY ME?

and now that I have celiac disease, it seems to be just fitting, why me celiac?